My tolerance for the ignorant is admirable, but if I’m flying on a plane or traveling long distances – I make exceptions. Traveling back from Cape Town yesterday brought back memories of international flights and all the ridiculous people I’ve encountered. Personally, those who dress inappropriately pick at my annoyance more than the granny chewing my ear off. As a blogger, I find it my civic duty to inform these inconsiderate trolls – What NOT to wear on a plane…
1. Maxi skirt. This may seem like the go-to item, but when you stand up and it looks like your bum cheeks had a wrestling match – not so much. The bunchy, creased ass look. Delicious.
2.) Hooker heals. The reference is slightly exaggerated, but the message is there. Besides being asked “how much?” – your sausage feet at the end of the flight squelching through the straps look anything but sexual.
3.) Pointed toe heels. Besides getting your toe section caught under the seat every time you cross your legs, that point ramming into my heel whilst we stagger off the plane is just what I need after a 12 hour flight.
4. Spiked anything. You’re just a fucking idiot. I say this with love, when you get punched in the face – you had it coming.
5. Raincoats. Firstly, we’re on a plane and unless I’m going to throw my drink on you, you don’t need that plastic monstrosity – and secondly… you’re in a fucking raincoat – indoors.
6. Bomber jackets and fur coats. Unless I can cuddle you and use your coat as my pillow – you’re making a nuisance of yourself.
7. Patent leather anything and leather skirts. Christian Grey doesn’t love you. Stop squeaking.
8. Chunky bangles. Sorry, you wanted chicken or beef? I COULDN’T HEAR YOU OVER THOSE FUCKING BANGLES!!!
What you SHOULD wear whilst traveling…
My go-to outfit is trainers with a comfy t-shirt dress. Tie a cardigan around your waist and use that as a blanket during the flight – you’re welcome. Try avoid tight denim and high-waisted anything, our bodies don’t like sitting for long periods of time and it disrupts the digestion process. Think comfort and be considerate of thy neighbour, this world is a tough place – let’s not make it tougher for the sake of vanity.