Personal disclaimer alert. This is not a reflection on my current state, so before you put on your judgmental shoes and give me your two cents… Also, if you somehow feel this is directed at you, not only are you creating your exact shoe size – I hope you bloody wear it.
I had an interesting conversation today, it started out calm but then slowly resulted in myself giving an explanation of why things are currently so shit. I had no solution to offer, nor did I speak of hope – I merely pointed out the miserable areas of life without a shred of positivity. Who be dis bitch and watcha do with Lamb?
The entire way home (in traffic) I wondered what it must feel like to truly give up. What are the signs? I’m sure it’s subjective, but I tried to create the five that I felt would relate to the masses. This is something that terrifies me, being complacent with mediocre.
So without ranting for days, let’s identify…
Things that would’ve previously insulted you, no longer do.
I’m not talking about taking the ‘high road’ or ‘picking your battles’ – it’s about that numb-ass feeling of words stabbing you and you don’t budge. You forget the insults in minutes and you’re not better off for it… it’s just your reality.
Fight back bitch. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Thanks for that, Eleanor.
Plans the old you would’ve loved don’t excite you.
“You’ll have fun once you get there.” How many times have you told yourself this? Why are you telling yourself this? Why do you HAVE to tell yourself this in order to go? You’ve stopped attaching emotions to events because you’ve given up or you’re doing it to please someone else.
No shit Sherlock (I still really love that one), what are you going to do about it? Stop sacrificing yourself.
The quality of your work drops, and you don’t care.
I could be licking envelopes, but my god, if people would know it was I licking those envelopes – I’d make damn sure those envelopes were sealed with utter perfection. Call me OCD but my work ethic is brilliant to a fault. I take pride in every bit of copy I write or strategy I present, the thought of not caring about what I spend the majority of my life doing is incredibly daunting.
How do I get it back? Work your way back to a time you were at your best, when did that glitter get brushed off your shoulder?
Patronising comments and ‘digs’ from those nearest and dearest stop affecting you.
We’ve all got one person who manages to sting you with every comment. It could be a member of your family, your in-laws, that one ‘friend’ etc. After a while you get to a point where you accept the constant belittlingly and you think you’ve got a handle on things. What we don’t realize, is those comments manifest and slowly spill black poison into your demeanor. Care about what those close to you say about you, call them out on it and bring the fight to them. Make them explain themselves. You are more than a punching bag for the average bully who thinks you’re an easy target.
You smile less.
Your smile is so beautiful, it spreads to your eyes and it’s contagious. Remember what you used to smile at. Identify what is taking it from you.
Freedom is always within our reach, don’t be a prisoner holding the key to your own cell. #micdrop
I really need to stop using that hashtag…
For the rest of you ma’fuckers who don’t know what state you’re in… come drink wine with me.