Is being single that hard?
After being single for several months, it has come to my attention that certain events keep reoccurring. Hold the pity sighs, this isn’t a post based on sadness, but of fucking hilariousness. I swear I’ve had more OMG moments and outright LOL situations since being single this time around and I can only put it down to age. In the olden days, you were expected to be married in your early 20’s and popping out your herd in time for your 30th birthday. As you may have guessed, this has not happened to me, but it seems the public are hell-bent on reminding me that I’m not walking down the aisle anytime soon.
These are some of the things you can expect being single in your late 20’s:
The word Tinder will come up in every conversation
I am not against those who use Tinder; it’s the new way of meeting people! The funny aspect is that it comes up all the fucking time! “Hey Tam, how’s the Tinder, I mean, travel plans coming?” – “My sister is coming into Tinder, I mean, town… have you tried this new app called Tinder? It’s how I met my shag buddy.” I’m not ruling it out, but people – in my own time.
You get set up… a lot.
Sometimes it’s not so obvious like a mate introducing you to another friend (“OMG you are BOTH single, I didn’t know?!”) at a party or social gathering. Other times… it’s your mother sending you a number of her friend’s nephew or some shit with the comment “you two would SO get along”.
Your friends will invite random people to make you feel included
I personally have no problem being a third-wheel with close mates, but I think they’re considering my feelings so there’s always this extra person that gets invited to even out the numbers. It’s a great way of meeting people so I’m not bothered, however random the extra invited body might be.
“When are you getting married” changes to “What ARE you going to do with your life?
I’m going to become a cat lady and become addicted to online poker.
Finding single friends to party with becomes near impossible
This actually hasn’t happened to me yet, my mates are pisscats, but I can imagine it would be the case. I mean, how many “family dinners” could you possibly have? I know you’re watching The Bachelor with your man before heading to bed for a boink-fest.
You spend much more money on yourself
An expensive tanning mitt and teeth whitening strips were GREAT financial decisions.
You become spontaneous and career driven
Like literally, time to take over the world. Shall I learn a new language? Take up a new hobby? Let’s go to Peru and ride alpacas! I’ve always wanted to be a pilot. I’ll invest in an olive farm!? Absolute madness, I tell you.
People come from a place of kindness, but as long as you’re happy with YOU – take it with a pinch of salt. There is no rush if you don’t want there to be.
I hope this post got a few chortles because I’ve been giggling the entire time I’ve been typing this up!