I was on my local radio station this afternoon to chat about my blog and the DJ asked me about my experience with living my lifestyle and maintaining a relationship. He asked me this and then cut to a break – and I began to panic. I’m pretty honest on my blog and can open up about my mental health, my views on equality and even how I feel about growing older. When asked point blank about how travel affects my love life; it stopped me in my tracks and I had no clue what to say. All I could muster was something along the lines of: “Yeah… um well, it’s difficult but you have to figure out what you want and make sure it’s what makes you happy.”
Before we go further, let’s clarify one thing: what I want. I don’t care about money or where he(/or she – I believe you fall for the person) is from. For me, it’s about the simplest of lives where you’re both happy doing whatever you feel your calling is. And. That. Is. It. I’m not one for bells and whistles, and I hate anything complicated.
The second thing to clarify: I have traveled with three boyfriends over the last nine years and all of them haven’t worked out – for multiple reasons.
We all still here? Great.
So, when asked about my love life and my view on keeping relationships living the way I do, I felt incredibly shy. Yes, I’ve had plenty experience on the matter but I had no clue how to say I had royally failed on all accounts.
I guess it just got too personal and I didn’t feel comfortable talking about it. On my way home, I started to ponder how I would’ve answered that question if I’d had time to come up with a proper response. A response I was happy to share.
Why traveling destroys relationships:
You’re never going to be in the same space. Someone is going to want to settle down or get a job or be stuck in a situation they can’t get out of. This means that one person won’t be getting what they want. There will be a permanent imbalance in the relationship.
One will always be more efficient than the other. It’s tough to find someone with the same level of efficiency as you and this always leads to frustration as one person will always carry the other. This isn’t saying one is ‘wrong’ and one is ‘right’; you just don’t have the right balance.
If your partner is insecure; it’s unlikely that it will last. Those who travel, guys or girls, are more than likely very independent free spirited souls. They don’t need constant validation and don’t hand it out either. It’s hard to feel needed when faced with such a strong partner, but you need to understand that they will love you in their own way and want you more than anything. It’s a struggle to make your partner feel needed when you’re self-sufficient in your own right and you’re experienced with traveling the world on your own.
If your partner hasn’t traveled, they won’t understand you entirely. I can show you pictures of Angkor Wat at sunrise, but I can’t explain why I stood there in tears watching it for an hour. I can write an article about how much travel has given me, but I could never put it properly into words. Something’s have to be felt. My favourite moments are talking with a fellow traveler about visa stresses or interacting with foreigners and you have this ‘you get me’ moment.
Why traveling makes relationships…
I can only imagine the feeling of traveling with someone and be feeling completely at ease and safe. When you can see the most incredible things with a partner that fits you perfectly. Experiencing the world together could cement a relationship, as it will be such a precious experience felt by you and your partner. To finally make it to a destination after days of local travel and to just be overwhelmed with emotion. I’ve seen it, and I want that. So, like I said on air this afternoon: “I gotta find me another Lamb…” The search continues!