After my serious post, I needed to lighten the mood with some good ol’ fashion Lamb fuckery! You’re welcome. In advance.
With ageing comes a flip in perspective and as you’ll discover by the end of this post, a new sense of humour. I won’t babble on for too long, the title is pretty self-explanatory. This blog post is all about:
Shit people say in their late 20’s
- “God, I’m old.”
- “Fuck, I’m old.”
- “Fuck this shit, I’m too old.”
- “I’m too old for this shit.”
Ok, now that we’ve gotten those out of the way. Let’s move on.
- “She’s like… 12.”
- “Where are your parents?”
- “I was never like that at that age.”
- “Oh, the youth today.”
High and mighty bitch! She’s probably legal; you were definitely like that at her age and probably 10x worse. Your ass is just too embarrassed to admit it.
- “I’m legit having one or I’m going to die tomorrow.” (That old-age hangover scares the best of us!)
- “You think you’re hanging now, little girl, wait until you’re my age!”
- “That was before your time.”
- “You think you know pain – wait until you get a 28-year-old hangover.”
- “I really REALLY can’t have another. I’m too old to embarrass myself.”
- “Hangovers aren’t worth it.”
- “I can’t go out, I have to work in the morning.” (And actually, mean it!)
- “I need to be home at 9 pm.” (And actually getting home at 9 pm)
- “Good god, woman!”
- “I can’t sit for too long or my back will hurt.”
- “Are we going to be standing for long? I need to find a seat.”
- “Have you had your pap smear and boobie check this year?”
- “Ah shit, I don’t have enough money for these shoes, my pension payment still needs to be paid this month.”
- “Taxes… let’s talk about that and try to avoid them.”
- “What insurance are you on?”
With age comes a flip in priorities and many ailments that weren’t around when you were bar hopping! No, but seriously, are we going to be standing long?
- “Am I trying to look too young?”
- “Have I gone too Grandma with this look?”
- “When did my boobs get this low?”
- “Groan.” “Grunt.” “Moan.” (Getting up off the floor.)
- “Am I done paying off my student loans?”
- “Did my body always look like this?”
- “OMG, I used to be so thin!” (Looking back at a picture of yourself in a bikini at 21)
- “Are you down for brunch?”
All jokes aside, I wouldn’t want to be any other age! I love the change in priorities and the small changes to my body. It’s all part of this beautiful thing called life. Do you have anything to contribute to this growing list?
Drop them in the comments below!