Why I hate technology – not that it matters.
When I’m away from a screen, I’m happier. My mind has a peaceful sense of calm, forgetting the pull of anxiety. I am a realist, adapt or die I say. I can dream of Woodstock and share hippie related quotes on social media – but I’m well aware that time is over. Any career worth pursuing is completely dependent on technology, and people should wrap their heads around it and educate themselves – even if you hate technology.
An entity with a two-year-old laptop damages their revenue streams. It becomes slow and irritable for employees, the programs are outdated and the quality of your output reflects that. My encouragement doesn’t stem from a place of happiness, but a place of acceptance.
That doesn’t mean I don’t hate the SHIT outta technology and not want to poke fun at it. I’m currently sitting at my computer on a plane, it has its perks, and it’s given me the opportunity to follow my passion.
Lambs reasons for hating technology:
- Firstly, I’m pretty sure we’re not meant to CARE as the Internet makes us care. Nice protein shake. Oh, you’re engaged? That’s your babies first tooth? Fabulous. Why technology, WHY?
- I don’t think we were made to handle the amount of shit taken in per day. We’re sitting at the edge of a crisis; the world will soon be overrun with self-entitled politicians and religious professors. Oh wait…
- The little baby known as the Internet was first launched a fuck-long time ago, that dial-in noise made us act like Beliebers. At first, we were looking up The Spice Girls or creating an email address (not that we had anyone to send it to), now it’s progressed to an exposed level to match that of reality TV.
- On that point, I really don’t care that you went to the gym or that you’re posting ‘deep’ memes directed at your boyfriend who’s just not that into you.
- Leaving the office no longer exists, if you’re sick or on leave – your employer will hunt you down, and they will find you.
- Cat and Thug Life videos. I love you, but I could’ve done so much more with my life.
- I don’t want a book on a screen, I want to turn the fucking pages.
- Finger scanners. Whoever invented that shit – you’re fucking useless at your job. They don’t work.
- Online banking. Some say convenient, I say ‘I don’t remember my 50 passwords’.
- Filters. Stop confusing me and them people with penises. Follow me on Instagram – I don’t use filters. Only when I’m looking fugly.
- I don’t know what you call those machines, but I’m talking about self-doing booking machines. Three tries to get my movie ticket, and don’t get me raging about those self-checkout machines. Job creation at its best.
- Out of order signs. On every ATM (cash point).
- Newsletters and the pop-up to sign-up to said newsletter. Oh ya, subscribe to Travel With Lamb.
- And finally, such a small but pet peeve: when people upload 20 variations of the exact same photo. Why? We saw it the first time. Consider my feelings. I HATE TECHNOLOGY!
Lamb ain’t trolling but these things just get my tits up! (in a bad way)
What are your reasons for hating technology?
Tweet me bitchney!
Lots of actual, physical hugs,