Holy shit that’s a morbid ass title! Lamb sounds tired and annoyed. More importantly, why is Lamb referring to herself in the third person?
Hey beautiful people, I am not here to be unnecessarily depressed or negative, I just want to share what I have been feeling over the last couple of weeks. True to form, I started this year ridiculously confused and unsure of where I wanted to be and what I wanted to be doing. Life threw me a massive fucking spanner with my India upset but threw me the biggest lifeboat with my Africa trip. Those two events sparked an upset in my selected plan for the upcoming year and I was back to square one.
I needed to decide what I wanted to do and how I was going to include all of my loves into one plan. What did I want to do? Do I want to own my own business? Do I want to be a backpacking yoga teacher traveling the world?
I’m sure this isn’t a surprise to most, but I am a very ‘all over the place’ type of person.
You really can’t have it all…
I love drawing
I love yoga
I love writing
I love chatting business development and business processes
I love non-profit work
I love to travel
I love being a mom to my cat
I love being around my friends
I love being in shape
I love being independent
I love being spontaneous
I love creating a little home for myself
I love watching my business grow
I love being in a relationship and sharing special moments with someone
I love being on my own and learning more about myself
I love spending hours doing nothing
I love not talking to people for days on end
I love being social
I love the idea of buying some land and building a house on it
I love the idea of having no assets and being free
I love the idea of me owning my own business and growing an empire
I love the idea of owning nothing but a yoga teacher training qualification and becoming a backpacking teacher traveling the world
Do you see my problem? That list could continue on for hours and I wouldn’t even have scratched the surface. I can’t have all of that and it’s something I’m finding so hard to come to terms with. You really can’t have it all.
You have to make a decision. There is a very popular quote from the show, Grey’s Anatomy:
“So, do it. Decide.
Is this the life you want to live?
Is this the person you want to love?
Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate?
Breathe in. Breathe out and decide.” Meredith Grey
You aren’t always going to make the right decision; chances are that you’ll make a lot of really bad decisions. You’re going to date people you really shouldn’t date and you’re going to make life choices that will go horribly wrong.
But you still have to make those decisions. I danced around making any concrete plans for weeks, and then I finally realized that limbo is worse than regret. So, I made some decisions and realized I can’t have it all. Fulfilling every single dream I have is near impossible, but being in limbo and in an undecided mess is only wasting the time away when you could actually be doing something worthwhile.
Stop procrastinating – decide on a life.